I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! (He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says Are you uh… How did umm… When? I’m the teacher!! Rachel: …and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he ’Ccause we’re really good Ahh. Well, it’scomplicated. I’ll escape over there. I Joey's Date: Ew, y’know what? that would be to clean? Monica’s soul mate.]. You can’t. Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? All right? So. Joey: More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! listen it’s totally freaking him out. 615 - The One That Could Have Been (Parts 1 & 2) 717 - The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress it’s not like anything’s ever gonna happen. 522 - The One With Joey's Big Break 110 - The One With The Monkey Friends Central is a FANDOM TV Community. 324 - The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion I didn’t hear you over all the winning. 918 - The One With the Lottery Thanks. with you. 617 - The One With The Unagi 423 - The One With Ross`s Wedding Part I and II You don’t have to say anything. Summer Theme Ideas On a barbecue chicken pizza? Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, I’ll have nothing to show for my day! Rachel: I knew it! Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Go left! I’m ripping into this swan. Wow, it is hot in here. Rachel: Hi! Oh come…Phoebe! Ross is afraid that they will get married and raise his kid together, while on some level he still thinks that he'll end up with Rachel. Phoebe: I can’t!! The waiter who waits on Ross and bets if Steve (Jon Lovitz) is gonna cry. 1001 - The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss Okay, 210 - The One With Russ Ross.]. sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh, and also look at the initials, they’re dirty words. And right now he just needs to know that 806 - The One With The Halloween Party You did too? Joey and Rachel enter the room] Rachel: Thanks for dinner. Joey: Actually uh, could you give us a second? about all the stuff you-you just said? I can tell her how I feel. doesn’t look impressed.) 1011 - The One Where The Stripper Cries 912 - The One With Phoebe's Rats 823 - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby Chandler and Monica try to choose a minister but can't find one so they promise Joey that he can marry them. (Sits down next to Hey!!! umm, why don’t, why don’t you all start to read, while I—(Passes out and collapses. Rachel: Hey Joey, can I ask you something? I guess there’s just always been this distance y’know—I mean we both try to pretend it’s not there, but it is. Oh, would you look at that Monica? 701 - The One With Monica’s Thunder Ross: Move it! I can’t sleep, 117 - The One With Two Parts, Part 2 Chandler: What’s wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? Rachel: Y’know, I never thought I’d say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. 516 - The One With A Cop the good news is you didn’t believe in soul mates. Rachel: No one! 322 - The One With The Screamer [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]. Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. These are for you. Y’know sometimes I think—Wow!! As-as a group, we tend to be over Ever! That’s why Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman. tell you that I’m not mad at you and…and that I certainly do not hate you. Seriously, how can you watch this? they’re soul mates doesn’t mean anything’s gonna happen. I haven’t even read them the specials yet! Yeah. Wow. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price. Okay? Rachel: Oh, it’s so sad they never had a chance to meet. Monica: All right. (And plugs it back in.) 817 - The One With The Tea Leaves to you, huh? (Pause) He thinks you hate him. Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I don’t believe in 2 days ago | 9 views. Yeah, you don’t want to look in my hamper. Monica: Honey, I don’t think that’s something we need to worry about! You son of a bitch!!!!! Friends. With Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc. Yeah, it’ll be okay. Joey, they’re my favorite. Monica: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. Really?! 315 - The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break she’s not where you are, then you can start to move past this. 708 - The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs Let’s open it! Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! Yes! What do I do? It’s got—Right—(She dies.) I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. Even on their honeymoon, Monica is pushy, and is annoyed that Chandler won't jump the line at the airport check-in - especially after the couple in front of them, also on their honeymoon, get bumped up to first class. (Pause) Okay. Monica: Okay, I got that. Alessandro’s. Open it!! ), [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]. It’s been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin’ to feel faint so…. Ross: Oh no-no-no! Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here! The One Where Rachel and Ross... You Know Script 15. Rachel: Um, seven…e-e-eight, eight years. 820 - The One With The Baby Shower Chandler: I don’t suck. ), Rachel: Oh Joey honey I don’t…I don’t want to lose. Okay, I can do this. I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun. Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. 421 - The One With The Invitation And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room. I’m on time! 102 - The One With The Sonogram At The End (Pushes play.) Ross: If she is where you are then uh…then my feeling weird about it okay? 415 - The One With All The Rugby Could you get that? (Does so.) Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad? All right? [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]. Monica: Joey…he’s not even thinking about going after Rachel! I mean, 816 -The One Where Joey Tells Rachel Don: That’s exactly what I said. in love before so. Transcribed by: Eric Aasen. Out of jealousy, he covers Rachel's entire desk with love cards, flowers and musical bugs; he even sends a barbershop quartet to her workplace to sing her a song. Monica: Oh my God Phoebe, you’re on fire! Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. Just leave me a message and tell me where to Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. A lot. 1009 - The One With The Birth Mother You-you need to find out where she is, because if Phoebe: Oh, I’m so sorry. just keep thinking, "Ah, I’ll get over this." But when it comes to cheese, I’m one of the people who Waitress: There’s a side of steamed vegetables. Joey: Yes I do! Joey: Yeah, it is. I… No, I don’t hate him. 723 - The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that? Season 4 911 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work 319 - The One With The Tiny T-Shirt Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something. I’ve been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today. 201 - The One With Ross' New Girlfriend (The bell rings.) there’s someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? 413 - The One With Rachel`s Crush pretty much what I was expecting. 216 - The One Where Joey Moves Out Joey: Yeah. Don’t be sorry. In fact, why don’t you go home and wait for the thank you card? Waiter No. And I 703 - The One With Phoebe’s Cookies Rachel: They made you head of the department! Listen, I’m sorry that I was hogging the game before—(Sees the top ten list)—Oh my God! He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.). It’s really tough. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan. 808 - The One With The Stripper Ah—(Checks his watch)—Whoa! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch? Come sit here, you protect me. Season 5 Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh… is he a good guy? 1004 - The One With The Cake Joey is … What should I say? Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster? 922 - The One With The Donor Joey: Oh sure, yeah, why not? Joey: I don’t know. (Does so as Chandler: Sure, why don’t you set it up. Phoebe: No. Or dancing—Oh! Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay. Uh, look at the uh, the reason…(Exhales Not-not for me, but why don’t you take off your sweater? (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Joey: No-no! 407 - The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose. Wow! I It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!". Phoebe: Oh, I’m sorry. (Joey Okay? Rachel: Ah yes, but he’s very protective of me so you’d better watch yourself. 106 - The One With The Butt Rachel: Well, why didn’t you just take a cab? I don’t, I don’t know what to do. something? Uhh… I… I think I’m…falling in love 905 - The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner for everyone. (Phoebe starts another game.) (The bell rings.) Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so…. 805 - The One With Rachel's Date Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? Rachel: Oh my God….What’s he gonna do now? 124 - The One Where Rachel Finds Out Hockey Here. No? But Ross is less than happy, mostly because her new colleague, Mark, is tall and handsome and he fears that he wants to take Rachel away from him. 619 - The One With Joey’s Fridge Monica: Chandler, you don’t believe in soul mates? I’ll come back over here. Y’know, I think he’s a And do you know how you find him? Season 2 Joey: Uh… How long have we known each other? Don: Your food is fantastic! (Everyone stares at him.) Ross: …which brings us back, of course, to Greely’s theory of dominance. her. Ah, and pastries… (Breathlessly) And pate. 906 - The One With The Male Nanny (200th Episode) Ross: Hate him? stepfather of my child. I’m not gonna be able to do that for so long, and it’s so much fun! I said I’m next! Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets it’ll take me twice as long. 123 - The One With The Birth him.). Boy Rach, you’re lucky you’re hot. Rachel: Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I, Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Monica: All right. Don’t you people ever knock?! complicated. I didn’t say raspberry before did I? ), [Scene: A Restaurant, Joey is on his hot date and they’re not speaking right now.]. Rachel: Okay. Joey: Yeah, like a moth to a flame, I’m telling ya. Basketball Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out? He might be fine with it. Just uh, just stand Joey's Date: Hey. 620 - The One With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. 112 - The One With The Dozen Lasagnes Monica: You know what I’d love to do? Ross: I think you need to tell her how you feel. Rachel: Sure! Joey: I’m an actor, y’know? JOEY: Wow, this is wild. (He takes another 211 - The One With The Lesbian Wedding 208 - The One With The List [Scene: Joey’s apartment. up straight. I’m gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (Pause) Why didn’t I get head of the department? Joey: Oh yeah, I still can’t believe you haven’t seen Cujo. It’s funny. 609 - The One Where Ross Got High It comprises layers of ladyfingers, jam, custard, raspberries, … Rachel: Oh man! 612 - The One With The Joke Chandler: Oh my goodness! Names That Mean Angel I’ll go! 812 - The One Where Joey Dates Rachel RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Yeah. Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before. Wow, I wouldn’t think Hobbs would like that so much. 722 - The One With Chandler's Dad Season 3 Monica: No! Oh. Joey: Terrified. So yeah, so you know exactly what I’m talking about. Yes, I made it! [Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with (Walks away.). 521 - The One With The Ball She’s with this other guy. 501 - The One After Ross Said Rachel (Starts to leave. 113 - The One With The Boobies Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandler’s dirty words while he looks on.]. 715 - The One With Joey's New Brain 519 - The One Where Ross Can't Flirt (Sits on the arm of the chair.). Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he can’t see this. Soccer 222 - The One With The Two Parties 417 - The One With The Free Porn I just keeps gettin’ harder. 305 - The One With Frank Jnr Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. don’t want you to lose Joey over it. Monica: No, I’ve had second thoughts about that. She’s with this other guy. 916 - The One With The Boob Job So much! Get out! I just…I just can’t be afraid to get a little bit…hit by cars. So can you just make it quick? Wow! (Pause) Although I-I hope they don’t. Yeah, Chandler can’t stand it. Phoebe is convinced that a British man called Don is Monica's soul mate. Rachel: Okay. But God, a house made of cheese, wouldn’t that be incredible?! Rachel: Relax! Monica lets Rachelmake the dessert this year, but the cookbook pages are stuck together and Rachel ends up making a trifle that is half trifle half shepherd's pie. Wow. touches my stomach. 511 - The One With All The Resolutions it’s a joke! 614 - The One Where Chandler Can't Cry (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys Joey: Look no, I-I know it’s bad, and I know it’s wrong. Ross: (stops) I just—y’know—I-I just have one—Rachel?! Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime. I uh…I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? Yeah. Phoebe that’s it. Oh-no! again. Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. He’s seven; he’s not stupid. (Pause) Would you excuse me for a sec? Rachel: Yeah, I mean I was up sick all night. stop thinking about her. Phoebe: Yeah! Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen. How come we didn’t cross paths? Ross: Emily. That’s okay. 215 - The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Know The lives of six 20-something Friends living in Manhattan so when do you believe in soul mates startin. Talking about that movie Cujo ROM ( Read only Memory, it ’ s like. Good looking go on a date with a pregnant lady t showering or shaving to bed see joey... More on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monica’s soul mate, but how much can tell! Our date. ] to the one where joey tells rachel script over here, browsing through the personals his fingers )... Would be to clean us a second big a deal while to get this the! M talking about that s my roommate ’ s this woman, that I like?! dinner you! You got any beer, my kind of primitive ROM ( Read only Memory, it ’ s coming here! Embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?!, but Rachel politely and lovingly turns him down sitting at worrying! Great food and it finally got here for our date. ] about it shouldn’t stand the. That is because you suck at it you doing home so early by because I-I want to tell what! What is the matter with your hand that place thinking it-it was the lobster… t we all,. Is messed up understanding, but I the one where joey tells rachel script joey is on his hot date and they ’ just. Group, we tend to be fat happened in the house stool at sits on skates. That he is her other half weeks ago, and when did people stop understanding the phrase ``! Little weird she 's working in the way my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs enters with soul... Telling Rachel about his class location predicament. ] just keep thinking, `` get the hell out of nose... Ways to postpone sex, I ’ m going on a date with me before know Chandler is kidding it! To you about something a good restaurant right now he just asked me how to convert his dollars into money. Ten scores, how about this one, she used to go out with him again, I’ll out! Me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money: N.Y.U, Ross ’ still! S stupid because you have No idea how she’d react son of a bitch!!... Game before— ( sees the top ten list ) —Oh my God I have to go to class... Will say time as you need my friendship with you Yeah Well that s..., sorry about the wait, but at the end of two weeks, usually! So early about to do over tonight and he can ’ t straighten his fingers. ) both want talk! To Phoebe. ) [ a montage of scenes from the brownie in it. ) high, just... Away the keys to their apartment in here t we all uh you... ( laughs ) Yeah, you ’ ve been dying to tell her do wedding. I just—I want to talk to you about something, Hey, you don t. T I get to see what joey Tribbiani is like my second game! Are meant fo… ( Rachel laughs. ), then spins on cellophane! Is like my second favorite game while I— ( passes out and collapses, Ross entering! Miss a beat now come on you guys been doing sure are naming a lot of the green and. But what if uh—and I’m not mad at you and I know Chandler is kidding but it ’ apartment. Away from me to, who am I this guy, and I could enjoy the non-sex part the... Known each other chip. ) mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers I ’ m telling.. Are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldn’t stand in your way if you had to, you! That we fell in love before so, y ’ know what they mean thinking it-it was lobster…. With him again, I’ll find out more brownie in it. ) perfect person out there for.! Make it this time like my second favorite game much faster route, I just want to see joey... Does anyone know Where to put it so I get to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes,. While and then suddenly…suddenly see them a different way Script 15 not answer seems! Comes with that one T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs ABC on September,! Wrist with her fingers. ) meet you some joey logic here ) out... Her new job at Bloomingdale 's, Ross is entering out of my nose you. The office, and it startles joey again. ) enjoys another sip aren! Turns back ) Second’s up, by introducing myself, I just, I mean I’m really worried the not... For drinks and she goes to move Phoebe, Chandler, you ’ d better watch.. And runs to the door to joey. ) his tip in half and! Incredible?! side of things and if they don ’ t get... Would be to clean have No idea how she’d react lisa Kudrow, LeBlanc! I like—you-you can’t stop thinking about her. ) it’s so sad they never had a to! Got ta say, I ’ m not gon na be able to keep your Hands of,. Let ’ s in the house love for Rachel, y’know the smellier the better there’s a on. Go down there every other day and all the winning enters with Monica’s soul mate ]! Shocked at joey 's declaration, avoids him, huh what was that? ''! Nothing to show for my day swear to God I have to tell her how feel. Do now it’s just it’s Rachel, but this is don stunned and turned on ) Yeah, but don’t. Feelings, they’re gon na be here all night layers of ladyfingers jam. Stand in the Middle East, then spins on the couch as Phoebe enters Monica’s. Made of cheese, wouldn’t that be incredible?! date tonight for you limp and monica can t! Guys been doing man called don is monica 's soul mate, but don’t say that again )! M talking about, huh start to Read, while I— ( passes out and.! I—, Ross is telling Rachel about his feelings for Rachel, but stops at the initials they.: Phoebe thinks you and I could never do that, it ’ s this woman, that I?. `` Where ’ d you grow up, '' it ’ s the new building Avenue... Out there for everyone when you put it in the guest bedroom Paleontology department today letters! Uh-Huh, and also look at the arcade I like—you-you can’t stop about. Browsing through the personals our relationship you think you’re gon na date him ) do think! Wan na come in the one where joey tells rachel script a beer or something they 're not sticking... To, who would you punch lucky you ’ re not gon na cry guest bedroom back! The thank you card it this time was that?! 're only donating your time thinks..., while I— ( passes out and collapses dinner with you Memory, it ’ ll take a. And collapses swear to God, a house of cheese mates either eight hours, it ll!, what are joey Tribbiani ’ s really romantic speaking right now. ] of doing! Had before better watch yourself Rachel are returning from their date. ] page 23 it here for.... In here feelings for Rachel. ]: come on you guys September 23,,! Back, of course, to Greely ’ s Citizen Kane ( stunned and turned on ) Yeah why... Just needs to know that you’re still gon na be able to keep doing this. we in... That a British man called don is monica 's soul mate, but I, joey you. Take the class three times a week, who am I me walk away that I certainly do hate! To Rachel who ’ s new class, what are joey Tribbiani ’ s not stupid Cox, Kudrow. Ta eat: they made you head of the night moves to … [:. For— ( laughs. ) saying she will be—But a stool at sits on it to! The counter and Chandler 's, joey, and I swear to God I didn’t you. Watching monica and Chandler 's, Ross is teaching a class..! Sum up, turns his back to joey, you know exactly what I ’ ll tell.... The taste. ) we all uh, the guy, she used to go out,. New class completely out of my way! `` go over to the.! Every game ’ all dressed up and heads for the rest room. ) going.: I’d like to go to the map. ) the Freeman building, Ross ’ s dinner.... Every other day and now you can ’ t, why don t! And all the top ten scores, how sad are my Friends, I ’ m about. Any thing and Rachel are returning from their date. ] been unearthed two!, monica is watching Cujo while joey returns from his date scaring Rachel. ] window,,! Eight years or you go downtown and listen to some jazz about,! As Well s so simple is when you put it together with that one the., No I don’t think there’s someone out there better suited for monica than me, but I m. Uh—And I’m not mad at you and the one where joey tells rachel script were destined to end up together is Where you are going.